Blair arrives at Dorian's house and finds Kelly (who is still recovering from the gunshot wound she received a few weeks ago) kissing Kevin on the couch.

Blair: Well, well, it's so good to see you home! I was going to ask if there's anything I could do for you, but obviously I can see that there's absolutely nothing that I can do for you.
Kelly: No, we're fine. Joey took care of everything.

Blair is surprised to hear this, since everyone knows that Kelly left Joey for Kevin -- the man actually in the room with them right now.

Blair: "Joey"? Oops, you just said "Joey."
Kelly: No, I meant Joey. He made sure that I could run The Sun from here. He knows how much I hate being away from it.
Blair: Hmm. Is that all right with you, big brother?
Kevin: I'd love to sit and talk with you, Blair, but I don't have time. You going to be all right?
Kelly: Yes. (they kiss)
Kevin: Okay, see you later.
Blair: See you later, Kevin!

Kevin leaves and Blair wanders around the room, which is littered with headlines and papers related to The Sun.

Blair: (shocked) Joey did this?
Kelly: Yeah. Listen, I still don't know what to do. He is hurting so bad.
Blair: He'll get over it.
Kelly: Yeah, well, I really don't know what I would do without Kevin. You know, everytime I'm with him, I feel like I can survive anything. You know, even seeing the pain I'm putting Joey through.
Blair: You know, that's -- that's a good thing. It is. It's nice to know that you're loved and that somebody's going to take care of you. I mean, everybody wants that, right?

Kelly finally picks up on Blair's strange behavior. The camera zooms in on the black briefcase Blair has with her.

Kelly: Are you okay?
Blair: Oh, I -- yeah, I'm fine.
Kelly: You just seem a little edgy.
Blair: Well, you know -- yeah, actually, I am. Kelly, I have a really big favor I need to ask you.

--end scene--

When the scene returns, Kelly's stepped out onto the patio to make a phone call. Blair takes the opportunity to go over the papers she's brought with her -- all relating to her plan to get Kelly to sign over her controlling shares of The Sun. The most important, of course, is the official "Transfer of Ownership" contract.

Blair: (reading aloud) "For good and valuable consideration, I, Kelly Cramer Buchanan, hereby transfer, assign, convey to Blair Buchanan all my right, title and interest in and to The Sun newspaper."

Kelly returns to the room.

Kelly: Hey.
Blair: Hey!
Kelly: Sorry, still a little business, but I'm all through.
Blair: Okay. You know, Kelly, are you sure you want to get back to work so soon?
Kelly: Are you kidding me? You know this is my life-line right now? It's the only thing that's getting me through what's happened. It's mine, I can do what I want with it, and I can get myself lost in it, and not obsess about everything I've been putting Joey through and not going overboard with Kevin. I think I'd be lost without The Sun. So, you wanted to ask me something?

Kelly sits back down on the couch, but Blair remains standing.

Kelly: What is it?
Blair: (nervously laughing) Oh, now you've really got me feeling guilty here. You know, I just don't want to bother you. I mean, it's bad timing, you know. We've had so many troubles, we're finally, you know, friends again. And you're still --
Kelly: Blair, please, don't be silly. Come on, tell me. You needed a favor. What is it?
Blair: Well, I guess if I'm going to do it, I'm going to have to do it. All right.

Blair sits on the coffee table in front of Kelly.

Blair: Brace yourself.
Kelly: (braces her shoulders)
Blair: Todd is back.
Kelly: Todd. What does he want? Why doesn't he just go away and stay away, Blair?
Blair: I don't know. He's threatening me again about Starr.
Kelly: Well, what does he want? Does he want her back?
Blair: I don't know.
Kelly: No. No, that's not going to happen. I'll guarantee you that. Tell me how I can help.
Blair: Thank you, Kelly.

--end scene--

Blair: Look, Kelly, I can't quite put my finger on it, but I know Todd is up to something, and it -- well, it just scares me. It worries me, and it makes me scared for Starr.
Kelly: Well, he loves her. You've always said that.
Blair: Yeah, but he's different somehow. And I worry that if something were to happen to me -- I just want to make sure Starr's taken care of. Look, I know that this is bad timing for you, and with everything that you're going through, but God forbid if something were to happen to me, I just want to make sure that she's okay. And I just -- well, what I want to know is, would you be Starr's legal guardian?
Kelly: (softly) Is that what you've been waiting to ask me?
Blair: Mm-hmm.
Kelly: Okay -- yes, honey! I would be honored!
Blair: You'll do it??
Kelly: Yes!

Blair happily hugs Kelly and sits on the couch with her.

Kelly: She's your daughter -- she's like my own niece. I love this girl, oh, I love her to pieces. And she'll always be safe and secure, but nothing is going to happen to you.
Blair: Well, you better -- better safe than sorry, you never know.
Kelly: Hey, thank you. I needed this. After everything that's happened with Joey and Kevin, I felt a little down. And I'm happy, I'm real happy, that we're family again. And I know that we'll always be cousins, but it's really cool when I feel like you're my sister. Okay?
Blair: Okay, me, too. (they hug again)
Kelly: Thank you.
Blair: Thank you.
Kelly: Thank you so much.
Blair: Thank you.

But now, Blair is ready to get down to business. She pulls away from the hug.

Blair: You know what, we can talk about all of this later. There is so much legalities to take care of....

Blair gets up from the couch and goes to retrieve the papers from the black briefcase she brought.

Blair: And I'm sorry about all this paperwork, but my lawyer went through it all. He said its all here. It just -- I read it and I understand it but you know -- should have to sign a few papers, and then it's all done. (she hands them to Kelly) You don't even have to read it. There you go.

Kelly takes the papers and looks through them. Suddenly, she stops.

Kelly: No. I can't do it.
Blair: (worried) Can't what?
Kelly: I can't figure it out. I need help. I need help with Joey.

Kelly turns away from Blair, lost in thought, so she can't see how frustrated this has made Blair -- the last thing she wants to do is have her scam but on hold so Kelly can have yet another pity party about which Buchanan man she wants to be with.

--end scene--

Blair: Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, look, you've just got to get over this. Do you realize how many men that I have hurt in my lifetime? And they've all gotten over me, believe it or not. Come on. This is Joey we're talking about. He can get over you.
Kelly: There's got to be a way to make this easier, something I can do.
Blair: Well, the easiest cut is always the quickest. Just walk away.
Kelly: Oh, Blair --
Blair: What?
Kelly: Come on. We've had a history.

Kelly paces around the room as she continues to wallow, while Blair steals a quick and regretful glance at the Sun papers, which are still sitting, un- signed, on the desk.

Kelly: We have an entire past together. How am I supposed to act like that didn't exist?
Blair: Oh, don't tell me that you think you and Joey are still going to be friends after all of this?

Yep. Looks like that's exactly what Kelly thinks.

Blair: (shocked) You -- you do! You know what, that's not going to happen. That's being selfish anyway. Come on, Kelly. You -- you can't do that. You've just got to let him go, for crying out loud. You're being selfish. It'll be the best thing for both of you. Really!
Kelly: Blair, I'm with his brother.
Blair: Yeah?
Kelly: There's got to be a way I can make this work out. Joey and Kevin mean too much to each other. If they became enemies over me, I couldn't do it. I couldn't handle it. So will you please just think about it and tell me what I shoud do?

Blair's had enough.

Blair: (yelling) I don't know, and I don't care! Just shut up and sign the papers!

Blair snatches the papers from the desk and thrusts them at Kelly, who is now, of course, suspicious.

Kelly: What is your hurry??

--end scene--

Kelly: Why are you so anxious for me to sign these papers? What's the rush? (she takes the papers from Blair)
Blair: Oh, Kelly, I am sorry. (she sits down) You're right. I -- I have a lot going on right now, and I'm on edge. Todd's back in town and he could do something totally insane any moment, any second, and -- I'm freaked out. And maybe --
Kelly: Maybe what?
Blair: Well, maybe I'm kind of on edge because of --

Blair gets an idea for another angle she can play. She stands up and starts pacing.

Blair: My hormones are kind of going nuts right now.
Kelly: Excuse me?
Blair: Yeah, I remember exactly how I felt when I was pregnant with Starr, and I remember feeling just like this -- anxious --
Kelly: What, you think you're pregnant?
Blair: (nods)
Kelly: Okay, well, I hope you have managed to call off the revenge you had planned for Max.
Blair: Kelly, I want a baby with Max more than anything right now. And if I am pregnant, then that's all the more reason why I should get these papers in order, and all the more reason why I want you to be the legal guardian of my children in case anything happened to me.
Kelly: Wait a minute. Now, does Max know about this? Because we're talking about more than just Starr here.
Blair: Yeah, I know, and look, Max is fine with it. Kelly, we've gone over this already. You know, if something were to happen to me. And it could! I mean, I could walk out that door right this very minute and be hit by a bus, a plane --
Kelly: Blair --
Blair: -- a train. It could happen.
Kelly: Anything could happen.
Blair: And if it did happen, and those papers weren't signed, then what would happen to my little girl?
Kelly: (sighing) I guess this is the right thing to do.
Blair: It's the right thing. And you are the right person to take care of my little girl. Please. Now, come on, let me help you back over here and you sit down... (she helps Kelly over to the couch)
Kelly: Thank you.
Blair: And let's just sign these papers, shall we? We can start right here...
Kelly: (signs)
Blair: That one's good. And then I think there's another one over here....

Blair watches with satisfaction as Kelly continues to sign everything she tells her to.

--end scene--

When the scene returns, Kelly is still signing as Blair watches over her shoulder.

Kelly: You sure you're pregnant?
Blair: Oh, I could be. I don't know yet.
Kelly: (sighs) Gosh, I remember when I wanted to have a baby with Joey so badly. You know, I wanted it for all the wrong reasons and if I had been pregnant, it wouldn't have been fair to Joey or the baby, but I know I wouldn't have ever been able to forgive myself. I certainly can't seem to forgive myself now.

Blair is so distracted with trying to stop yet another Kelly Cramer Pity Party that she doesn't pick up on the fact that she, too, is trying to get pregnant for all the wrong reasons.

Blair: Well, you know what, if you're going to wallow in your guilt, you might as well do something constructive. How about signing -- (she flips to another paper) Guess you've done that one. (she flips to another) This one right there.

Suddenly the doorbell rings. Kelly looks up, expecting Blair to get it. Blair is reluctant to leave Kelly alone with the papers, lest Kelly actually start to read what she's signing, but she sees no choice but to go get the door.

Blair: Oh, I'll get it. You just keep on signing.

Blair heads to the front door and opens it to find Sophia, all dressed up in her shiny new police uniform.

Blair: It's a little early for trick-or-treat, isn't it?
Sophia: Oh, cute. This is my uniform. I'm a cop.
Blair: Yeah, and I'm the Easter Bunny. Hop, hop.
Sophia: Oh, and you're also very funny.
Blair: Ha-ha. ince when did the police department start taking in blackmailers?
Sophia: Oh, I don't know, I guess about the same time the dog groomer started cutting your hair. Arf arf.

They're interrupted when Kelly hollars from the living room.

Kelly: Sophia, is that you?

Sophia brushes past Blair and heads into the living room. Blair follows after her.

Kelly: (putting the papers down) Is everything all right?
Sophia: Yeah, I'm on a break. I wanted to talk to you.
Kelly: Why?
Sophia: Get rid of her, and I'll tell you.
Blair: Oh, for crying out loud!
Kelly: Blair, do you mind?
Blair: Yeah, I do mind!

Kelly gives Blair a pointed look.

Blair: All right, all right, all right.

Blair snatches up the papers.

Blair: (to Sophia) Just make this quick. Kelly and I have a lot of business to discuss, and it's important.

With that, Blair stalks into the foyer, closing the living room door behind her.

--end scene--

After Sophia and Kelly's talk (Sophia wants to make sure Kelly knows how badly she's hurt Joey by leaving him for Kevin), Sophia leaves the living room. Blair is waiting out in the foyer.

Blair: Well, it is about time!

After Sophia leaves, Blair double-checks the paperwork. Kelly still hasn't signed the most important, the "Transfer of Ownership." Blair flips the first page of the document over so that the title isn't visible. Then she marches back into the living room, where Kelly is sadly reflecting on what Sophia's told her about Joey.

Blair: Well, I just got off the phone with my lawyer and he says if I can get all these papers signed in 30 minutes, then he can file them tomorrow and they'll all be legal. Um, it'll just feel so good to have this weight off of my shoulders, to know that Starr's going to be okay. Do you think we can get this all done in 30 minutes?

Kelly's so depressed over the Joey/Kevin situation that she no longer has the energy to put up much of a fight.

Kelly: (nodding) Yeah.
Blair: Great! (handing her the papers) Here you go.
Kelly: Yeah, it's just -- get it over with, right? (she starts signing)
Blair: Yeah. That one.
Kelly: (signs another)
Blair: Great. Yes, I think all of the rest have been taken care of. Thank you so much! I will get this down there to him and it'll all be legal. Thanks, Kelly!

Blair gets all the papers together and then breezes out into the foyer, closing the living room door behind her.

Blair: (to herself) Thanks a lot. (she looks at the papers) Oh, great. (kissing the papers) Okay, Todd, looks like it's all yours now.

Blair leaves Dorian's.

--end transcript--