Todd Tells Blair That He's Adopted


It's New Year's Eve. Blair is at her penthouse, talking to Cord about their plans for the night (he won't be able to join her until 11:00 because he has to go to Max and Luna's "Make a Wish" New Year's Eve party) when she hears her doorbell ring. She hangs up and goes to answer.

Then she peers through the peephole and groans in frustration at who it is.

Blair: Oh man!

She opens the door and Todd is standing there.

Blair: Todd, what are you doing here?? Look, I told you that we can't see each other, all right? Go on, you're going to have to go because Cord's going to pick me up any minute, all right?

Todd stays standing there and doesn't say anything. Blair realizes that something must be wrong.

Blair: Are you all right?

--end scene--

Blair lets Todd into the penthouse.

Blair: I tell you what, buddy, this better be really, really pathetic.
Todd: So Mr. Roberts is picking you up, huh?
Blair: Yeah. So come on, play your trump card and let's get this game rolling.
Todd: Don't worry, I won't take up too much of your time. I'm gonna lay out my pathetic details, I'm gonna collect my winnings and then I'll split. Oh, man, '94 is going out with a great, big, miserable bang. It's more like a thud, really. It's been a great couple of weeks. Let's see, my old man, the only family that I've got, he croaks, and when he is breathing his last breath, he is still barking out all these orders and I have no idea what he is talking about.
Blair: I don't know what you're talking about.
Todd: He's on his deathbed, right, only what does he say? He doesn't say that he's sorry for driving my mother away and making her life miserable, not to mention mine. He doesn't say that there is the tiniest, puny little part of him that doesn't hate me with all of his guts! No, he doesn't say anything like that!
Blair: Todd, you've already told me all of this. You said that he said, "Go find yourself," or something like --
Todd: Yeah, right, and he gave me this stupid key!
Blair: Okay, he gives you the key, he tells you that, what -- what else?
Todd: Oh, no, don't worry, I'm just getting to the good part. You see -- oh, and then I get hit on by you, which is not really the pathetic part, but then I get dumped by you, which even you have to admit is pretty pathetic, and then I'm down to my last two dollars, so I go and I try and get a job at the one last thing that I'm good at, being a dumb jock, so I go down to the country club to talk to the sports director there, only I can't get past his whiny little assistant! Let's face it, the country club doesn't want its lily-white reputation all mucked up by having a convicted felon on staff.

Todd's rant is now over, and Blair looks less than impressed.

Blair: So this is it? Your Most Pathetic Contest? I mean, you're broke? I mean, Todd, that's strictly amateur.

Todd doesn't reply. Blair makes a frustrated noise.

Blair: I tell you what, you can leave, because I'm going to go get dressed for Cord, okay?
Todd: Look, I'm not close to being broke. You see, right after I give David Vickers his personal tennis lesson, I'm going to be up 50 bucks. Now, what are you in such a hurry for?
Blair: Well --
Todd: You didn't tell me, what time is Cord coming by? It must be soon, huh?
Blair: I just -- I don't want to be rushed, that's all.
Todd: What? 6? 8? 9?
Blair: Uh, not exactly, I --
Todd: Later? Huh, why is that, Blair? Does Cord have to get "family time" over first? You shouldn't be second on anybody's list, Blair. Not tonight, not any night.
Blair: Look, Todd, if you got something to say, say it. I've already heard all this stuff already.
Todd: Okay.
Blair: Otherwise, spill it, or get out, all right?
Todd: Fine. Fine. All right, you know my old man who just died? Turns out he's not my old man who just died.
Blair: What?
Todd: Turns out -- oh man, you're gonna love this.
Blair: What?
Todd: Turns out, I'm adopted.

Blair stares at Todd in shock.

--end scene--

Blair: How did you find out?
Todd: My dad's lawyer sent a box of letters -- my mother's letters. And letters that he never let me see. See, I thought I -- I wrote her all those letters....
Blair: And you thought that she didn't write you back. That she didn't care enough to --
Todd: Look, my mother loved me, all right? She was not my biological mother, but she loved me more than anybody else ever could.

Todd pauses a moment, caught up in a memory.

Todd: He hit her. Did I ever -- did I ever tell you that? A lot. And then, um, she started drinking -- and it just got worse and worse. And finally she couldn't deal with it anymore and so she left. But she couldn't take me with her.
Blair: Why not, Todd?
Todd: Because he won. He took her to court. He said that she was a lush and that she had abandoned us, and he wanted custody. And God knows why, because he always hated my guts. My God, all those times that he told me that I was not his son, and I had no idea. I -- my father always made me feel like I was something ugly that had followed him home.
Blair: I'm so sorry.
Todd: Yeah right.

He turns to leave, but Blair chases after him.

Blair: Look Todd, I am sorry -- look at me! I know what it's like to look for your real parents. I found my mother and she was in a mental institution, so I know a little bit how you must feel. God, aren't you just dying to find out who your birth parents are, though?
Todd: No.
Blair: No??
Todd: No! I don't care! I don't care who they are -- who they were -- they're probably dead.
Blair: Come on, Todd, you don't know that for sure!
Todd: All right, you want to know the weird part?
Blair: What?
Todd: All right, the weird part is that in my mother's letter, she said that when I turned 18 I was going to come into a bunch of money and I'd be able to visit her.
Blair: So what happened?
Todd: Nothing. She wrote the letters when I was a kid. My mother died and I never got any money.
Blair: Well, come on, Todd, there must be -- the money must be somewhere.
Todd: I don't know, I mean, before this box of letters got there, I called my mother's second husband.
Blair: All right, well, did he have any information? What did he say?
Todd: He said that she had mentioned a trust fund a couple of times, but that he had no idea what I was talking about. That was that, another dead end.

Blair gets a reluctant Todd to sit down on the couch.

Blair: All right, now, sit down here. Look. When you go and search for your birth parents, you are going to hit dead ends, Todd -- you're gonna hit them.
Todd: That's very encouraging, Blair.
Blair: Look, we can research your birth records and we can find --

Todd jumps up off the couch, suddenly angry.

Todd: I don't want that! Forget it! Forget about that!
Blair: No, I can help you find your parents, I found mine!
Todd: Look, I don't want that! I don't want that at all! You know what I want, I want this thing off my ankle, I want to get out of this town, and I want -- God!

Todd breaks off, weary from arguing.

Todd: Whatever. Look, you get ready for your little hot date with Cord -- that is, assuming he has time for you after his family. Thanks a lot for listening.

He goes to leave, and Blair goes after him.

Blair: Todd, listen to me!

Todd opens the door and Dorian is there on the doorstep.

Dorian: Oh my. Together yet again.
Todd: (to Blair) Look what happened when you went and found your family.
Blair: I --
Todd: Look, if Cord doesn't show up, I'm going to be at Rodi's. Come on by, I'll buy you a drink.
Blair: Okay.
Todd: (to Dorian) Excuse me.

Todd leaves.

--end transcript--


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