Todd & Blair [1995, Part 1]

[When David questions Todd about his favorite birthday presents, Todd can't help but bring up Blair]
Todd: I got a kiss for Christmas this year, but by the time my birthday rolled around, she didn't want anything to do with me.
David: I didn't know that you had a girlfriend.
Todd: Did I say that I did?
David: No, but you said you got a kiss on Christmas, so I just assumed --
Todd: I also said that she wasn't interested anymore. Let's just drop it.


David: (to Dorian, about Todd) On top of him being hostile, he's all bummed out because some woman dumped him....


Todd: Look, you're wasting your time with this "let's be friends" routine. I know what you're after.
Dorian: And what's that?
Todd: You've been driving yourself nuts trying to figure out what Blair and I were doing when you dropped by her place today. Well, you can save your "keep your hands off my niece" speech. We're just friends.
Dorian: I'll be SO relieved if it stays that way!


CJ: We got a lot of cool presents. And Blair's were the greatest!
Todd: Yeah, Blair really knows how to give a Christmas gift, doesn't she?


Todd: Things seem to be going great between you and Cowboy Cord. He hasn't blown you off for his family in, what, a week?
Blair: (chuckling sarcastically) You are just full of clever remarks today, aren't you? And I especially love the one about a Christmas present. That was a riot.
Todd: Sorry. Couldn't resist.
Blair: In the future, resist.
Todd: Well, look, I guess I just got presents on the brain. Today's my birthday.
Blair: Well, Happy Birthday.
Todd: Thanks. Oh, and don't worry about it, I don't expect any gifts.
Blair: Look, I will get you a present. I'm just not going to -- get you a present like I gave you for Christmas, that's all.


Todd: (about Dorian) At first, I couldn't figure out why she was so anxious to have a drink with me.
Blair: Well, she has a thing for younger men.
Todd: Yeah, from what I hear I'm a little too old for her.


Todd: (about Dorian) I started to figure that maybe she was getting suspicious about what's going on between us.
Blair: Todd, nothing is going on between us.
Todd: (frustrated and embarrassed) Look, I know that, okay. Look, I don't want to have this conversation anymore than you do. All I was doing was warning you because maybe she's going to pounce on you next. Look, I'm out of here.
Blair: Todd, Todd, Todd, wait a minute. Thank you for the warning. And Happy Birthday.
Todd: Whatever.


Dorian: Blair? You and Todd -- you seem to be very close. One might even say "intimate."
Blair: Well, one might be wrong.


Todd: All alone at the Palace Hotel? Let me guess, Cord finally wised up and dumped you, huh?
Blair: (fake laughing) So very funny, Todd. What are you doing here?
Todd: Sooner or later, Cord's going to see your true colors. He'll dump you. Nobody changes that much, Blair. I mean, you can change the clothes, but you can't change the person on the inside.
Blair: Yeah, I noticed. Nice suit.


Blair: So, um, I guess you need to go find your date, don't you?
Todd: What, you trying to get rid of me? Is Mr. Wonderful coming?
Blair: No, Mr. Wonderful is not coming, but his kids are, and I really don't want you to be here when --
Todd: Oh, come on. You'd score big points with CJ and Sarah if they think we're friends.


Todd: Let me guess. Cord stood you up again, huh? Surprise surprise.
Blair: It's different this time, Todd.
Todd: It's always different. The guy's got a million ways to break your heart. You've only used up, like, what, 110 of them?


Todd: I don't really blame you for being scared.
Blair: Who is scared?
Todd: You are. You're afraid that if you lay it on the line with Cord he's still going to leave you for Tina. I guess he hasn't learned anything, either.
Blair: You think that you are so smart, don't you, Todd?
Todd: Look, I know all about losing, and I know all about being alone. Which is what you are really afraid of, isn't that true, Blair? You're going to wind up alone just like you were when Max went back to his wife. Do you see a pattern forming here or is that just me?


Todd: You know, the cops took my little love bracelet off today.
Blair: Your ankle monitor? They took it off? Todd, that's great! So I guess that you can go anywhere you want. You're a free man.
Todd: That's right. A few more tennis lessons and odd jobs at the country club, I'll finally have enough cash to split for Florida. You will finally be rid of me, Blair. I guess that makes you a double winner, huh?


Blair: Okay, okay, so maybe I do pick the wrong guy all the time, but at least I'm not like you -- too afraid to let anyone get to know me.
Todd: And you are way off base. I don't care about anything, so why should I be scared?
Blair: Because that is your act. Some people just never see through it.
Todd: But you do, huh?
Blair: You know that I do.


[Todd makes his bid for Most Pathetic]
Todd: All right, there's this babe named Sam. She's coming on to me, and I think it's because she wants me. But it's because she wants to write some sleazy tabloid story. I'm right up there with alien space invaders and miracle diets.
Blair: Well, that's right. I cannot compete with that.
Todd: (staring at her) So that's it. I win, you lose.
Blair: (frustrated) All right, all right. (she lowers her voice and her eyes drop down suggestively) So what do I have to do?
Todd: Oh, come on. It's got nothing to do with sex. I have something a little more unusual in store for you.


[Todd challenges Blair to get up at sing at Rodi’s]
Todd: There isn't any challenge you can't meet.
Blair: Come on, Todd! Trust me, if I were to get up there and sing, I would clear this place out in no time flat. And I really do not want to take any business away from Rodi's.
Todd: Look, all I want for you to do is live up to your end of the bet.


[Todd listens to Blair sing at the country club]
Blair: "Wake me up, I must be dreaming. I can't believe that you are real. I heard somebody call us crazy. They don't know what we feel. And would it be too much to ask. To have this moment last. I feel I'm finally finished running. And ended all this wasted time. For you have shown me what I've searched for always has been mine. And it won't be too much to ask to have this moment last. Whatever they want to say, it's all right with me. Whenever I hear them doubt, it's just fine. Because all was falling apart until you touched my heart and showed what's been there from the start. Simply love. Simply love. Simply love. Simply love."


Todd: Hey Blair! Come on, sit down, I'll buy you an orange juice.
Blair: How can I resist such a charming invitation?


Todd: I didn't get a chance to tell you last night just how much I liked your singing.
Blair: Thanks.
Todd: I had no idea you could sing like that.
Blair: I don't do it much. Getting up on stage and pouring your heart out to people, it makes you kind of vulnerable.


Blair: Stupid for me to get up and sing a love song like that, especially after the way Cord tossed me aside yet again for Tina.
Todd: Yet again.


[Cord interrupts T&B at the country club]
Cord: Look, excuse me, I need to talk to Blair here for a second, okay?
Todd: Are you really sure that Blair wants to talk to you?
Cord: Blair, I understand that you're upset about me running out on you yesterday --
Todd: Look, you don't gotta talk to this guy if you don't want to, right?
Cord: What are you -- are you her pet pitbull all of a sudden?
Blair: You know, Todd, it's all right. I would actually enjoy hearing Cord's creative excuse for blowing me off this time.
Todd: All right, cool with me. If you change your mind, I'll be in the lobby. (to Cord) "Ruff."


Cord: (about Todd) What is he? Your guardian angel now? Huh?
Blair: He is my friend. Which is more than I can say that you've been lately.


[Blair finds Todd examining his most recent paycheck]
Todd: Oh come on man, you gotta be kidding me. What, everybody gets a cut -- except me? This is pathetic!
Blair: Todd? Come on, you're not playing Who's Most Pathetic without me, are you?
Todd: Everybody's allowed a little solitaire, don't you think? Especially when it comes to a check like this. Check this out: they took out -- they took out $10.49 for Social Security. Like that's going to buy me a cup of coffee when I'm sitting in an old folks home in, like, 2045.
Blair: Somehow I don't see either one of us in rockers on a porch. I doubt if we'll even live that long or care.


Todd: So tell me. How did you let Cord get to you this time?
Blair: It's no fair saying, "I told you so."
Todd: I don't even know what happened yet.
Blair: You know what happened. Exactly what you said would happen happened.
Todd: Fine. I told you so. Well, come on. I can't even rub it in unless you give me the details.


Blair: (about Cord) I asked him to move in with me. Wait, wait, Todd, wait. It gets much worse than that -- more pathetic. I was actually hurt when he said no. Now, is that rock bottom or what?
Todd: All right. I'm ready to concede The Most Pathetic Contest to you. But Blair?
Blair: What?
Todd: Nothing. Look, I'm just surprised you let Cord get to you like that.


Blair: I'm going to get my business, Melador, off the ground. It's going to be a success in no time, and then I will show everybody in this stupid town how much they underestimated me.
Todd: Not everybody. I always knew you were a champ.


[Blair thinks Todd should hold on to the mysterious key from Peter Manning]
Blair: You never know, Todd. This key might unlock Fort Knox. You never know.
Todd: The only thing that key's going to unlock is Peter Manning's Hall of Horrors. I don't need those memories.


[T&B are planning to have a night on the town]
Todd: Look, we're going to have to go Dutch. I'm afraid your tastes run a little too pricey for a working stiff like me.
Blair: Oh, Todd, come on. You're not going to start with that pathetic stuff again, are you?


[Asa tries to stop T&B from entering Olanov’s]
Asa: Whoa, hey! Who the hell said you were ever welcome in my club??
Blair: Come on, Todd, let's go. All he's going to do is make cheap shots at me anyway.
Asa: Cheap shots? Honey, you are a cheap shot. Now, you're out of here, you and your raping, murdering boyfriend. Now get.
Todd: Now, don't have a stroke, Pops. We're out of here. (to Blair) Tell me something. Was he like this when you married him, or is he like this 'cause you divorced him?


Asa: (to Blair, about Todd) See, this guy's more your speed. You've sunk to your own level.


Todd: It's great to be out of that snobby, stuffy joint, huh?
Blair: Olanov's?
Todd: Yeah. I got the feeling they didn't really want us hanging around there.
Blair: Well, Todd, I have a lot of feelings, and I am tired of not being wanted. So I am here to have some fun. So much fun that I don't even remember my own name.
Todd: Or Cord Roberts' name.
Blair: Who?


[Luna is disgusted at the sight of Todd and Blair]
Luna: Look at her, hanging all over him!
Max: What a pair.


Luna: (to Blair, about Todd) You know, you have been walking around this town crying for weeks about making a commitment to Cord and his kids. And here you are with the worst kind of trouble there is? Does Cord know about your new little friend, Blair?


Luna: (to Blair, about Todd) You know what I think? I think you two deserve one another.


Todd: You know, I just realized something.
Blair: What?
Todd: Well, with you around I may not be the one person in this town that everybody hates the most.
Blair: Well, Todd, you are still king.
Todd: And what does that make you -- queen?
Blair: Yeah!
Todd: Well, your majesty...
Blair: Yes?
Todd: What do you say...you want to move down south to the Keys with me? We'll do that beach bum thing?
Blair: Why would I want to do that?
Todd: Why not? No reason for you to stay here as far as I can see. God knows I don't have a reason to stay.


[T&B discuss Blair's plans for Melador]
Todd: Look, what you should come up with first is something that men and women can use. Men don't like having lousy skin anymore than women do.
Blair: (impressed) Todd, that is a very good idea. Why, you have a very good business-head on your shoulders!
Todd: That's me -- money is my middle name.
Blair: Why do you put yourself down all the time? Just because your so-called father did doesn't mean that he's right.
Todd: All right. Maybe I got more brains than I know what to do with.


Todd: You still planning on letting Cord shell out all that cash to lease the offices for Melador?
Blair: Look, I don't know. I don't know.
Todd: Yeah, well, maybe you should think about it, Blair. Because I don't think it's such a great idea. I don't think you're going to be able to separate business interest from personal interest.
Blair: I know...I know.
Todd: Well, if I were you, I'd give all the money back.
Blair: The money?? Look, if I didn't have Cord's money, I wouldn't have a company! I don't have a choice here!
Todd: (dryly) You're right, keep thinking like that, you don't.
Blair: What's your point?
Todd: My point is that Cord's not the only bank in town. I'd put money into this project if I had any.
Blair: Thanks.
Todd: So go on out there, Blair. Do it yourself. Don't keep waiting for some guy who keeps turning his back on you anyway.


Blair: Maybe I'm playing it too safe these days. Maybe it's time to wake up part of old Blair again. Well, at least a small part.
Todd: Yeah. That part that can get things done if you try hard enough.


Todd: You can't keep waiting around for guys like Cord to back you up.
Blair: No, Cord can just keep this money. Better yet, he could just use it to save Tina one more time.
Todd: Now you're talking smart.


[T&B show up together at Dorian's house]
Dorian: Blair, would you like to tell me why you're here -- with Todd? Or am I supposed to guess?


Blair: (to Dorian) Todd is my potential business partner.
Todd: That's right -- after I come into all my riches.


Dorian: (to Blair) I'm so thrilled that you are going to be using your energies to good use in some kind of a business instead of wasting them on used-up cow-hands like Cord Roberts and Max Holden.
Todd: Blair, do you hear all that?


Blair: Am I drunk, or did my aunt just write me a check for $200,000??
Todd: You are drunk, and yes, she did.